Want to feel happier? Try thinking of something you’re grateful for every day when you get up and when you go to bed. It’s very effective and sounds so simple. But for most of us I believe this is probably easier said than done. Not because it’s difficult to give thanks, but because it requires a little discipline to make yourself do it consistently. That’s why I’m grateful to the lovely Isabel Archer for nominating…
It’s wonderful to follow your calling and chase your dreams. But what if your current job is not your calling and you are just not ready for a drastic change, yet? The good news is you don’t have to feel stuck. On this week’s BananaOnFire, I share with you three tips to make the most out of the job you’re in. Even if the job is not your dream gig, you can still get fulfillment…
On this week’s BananaOnFire, I give you a tour around my altar at home. It used to be my favorite place in the house and I thought things I placed on there symbolized what being spiritual was all about. I couldn’t be more wrong. When we identify with the rituals, the tools, the belief system of our spirituality too much, it becomes another form of materialism. When we’re so attached to a spiritual identity, inevitably…
Last week I went to visit my friend Frances in the stunning Mount Shasta. The trip spurred many a dropped jaw at the wonder of nature, and — surprise, surprise– a new appreciation of reincarnation, which I’m going to tell you now. On the second morning of the trip, after the previous day’s intensive hike in the mountains, I wanted something softer and gentler on both feet and spirit. So I headed South alone…
Law of attraction offers the glitzing hope that you can manipulate the Universe into giving you what you want by playing simple tricks. That’s why it’s so popular— it caters to the human instinct to control the future and makes our ego feel almightily powerful. But does it really work? The answer is yes and no. Yes, because the magic of Universe always “works” without fail. No, because it doesn’t work the way most people…
Once upon a time, dating was foolproof for women. All you needed to do was to say two words. You are asked on a date. You say yes. You are picked up and fed dinner. You say thank you. You are asked on another date. You say yes. You are proposed to, you say yes, thank you! Ok, I may be exaggerating the degree of passivity expected from women, but certainly not by much. Depending…
Four years ago, I went to my first Hindu ceremony honoring one of the major goddesses. I forgot which one, as those Hindu goddesses all look quite the same to me. (I seriously suspect they are all the same woman sporting different hair-dos and dress codes.) The ceremony— they call it a “puja”— lasted for a long time. Or maybe it just felt long because it mainly involved this yellow-robed Indian guy chanting Sanskrit, the…
Being a misfit carries countless benefits, including… You never need to worry about fitting in— it’s obvious you never will. People can’t ignore you— getting hit by a car is impossible. Your provide gossip materials for others— saving the world from boredom. Endangered species love you— you’re one of them after all. People think you’re original— but actually you’re just being you. Winter is never too cold— being ridiculed so often gave you thick skin. You won’t have…
A while ago, I bumped into a friend at a lunch party. She’s about my age, has recently got married and had a baby. My friend introduced me to her senior colleague— let’s all her Angela— a stylish, beautiful woman in her mid 40s. I liked Angela immediately and we struck up a conversation. After she left us to get dessert, I told my friend what a wonderful colleague she had. My friend nodded, “Yeah,…
If you ever want to be more than mediocre in your career, then being professional is useless. I’m not talking about having the skills and know-hows to do your job. I’m talking about acting like a faceless, paper-thin business character out of an amateur novel, a behavior you’ll most likely recognize if you’ve spent anytime in an established corporation. If you ever want to be more than mediocre in your career, then being professional is…
Have you ever felt finding love difficult? Have you ever felt all your hard work in pursuit of a loving, lasting relationship seems futile? Have you ever wondered, in a heartbreaking moment, if there’s anything wrong with you and if that special person is ever going to show up at all? Well, good news: you’re not crazy. If finding love seems impossible, it’s because it is. It’s because, despite all your grand motivation to “take…
When it comes to the secret of success, a common mistake we all make is to confuse correlation with causation. Leaders sit at the table. But that doesn’t mean sitting at the table makes you a leader. The average self-help book prescribes a set of behavioral rules for you to follow. The unspoken (and false) assumption is that since those behaviors all correlate with success, if you act the same, you’d be successful, too. This…
Positive thinking works. Until it doesn’t. Overwrite the negative thoughts with positive, hopeful thoughts. Replace the destructive, victimizing crap you tell yourself with confidence-boosting pep talks. As a result, happiness is enhanced and peace of mind strengthened. Who knows, maybe you can even “think (positively) and grow rich” or “attract what you want with (positive) thought waves”, as well-meaning motivational speakers would want you to believe. As long as you believe your thoughts are real,…
I’m in Rome! It’s nice and crowded here. And in this video I answer three questions while wandering the streets of the Eternal City: 1. Why you shouldn’t stay in a hotel. 2. Why a healthy dose of messiness is good for your brain. 3. How to get nothing done (it’s harder than you think). Special thanks to Annalisa Morelli, my lovely hostess in Rome. Check out her apartment next time you travel to Italy.…
Being cynical is easy. It takes no effort on your part. Disillustionment is our instinctual response to disappointment. It’s a handy protection and an efficient way to navigate a world that is, and always will be, full of disappointments. The only problem is this: Cynicism doesn’t make you happy. It will make you look cool in selected demographic groups. It will keep your hands clean and your house tidy. But you’ll never get to taste…
In this video Isabel and I talk about a mysterious and often misunderstood state of being commonly labeled as existential depression. I think the label is largely missing the point. The emptiness you feel is not some kind of sickness you need to get rid of. Yes it’s scary. But if you dare not to run away from it, doors will open to deeper knowing of who you are and there will be few other…
I was pissed. This morning someone (let’s call him Brian) left a Facebook comment on a blog post of mine. He said, “You were robbed, twice. There’s nothing spiritual about it.” He was commenting on a post I wrote about how I lost two pieces of clothing on a recent trip. The loss was a small event, but it reflected the current state of my life– emptying out the old identities to create space for…
I’m traveling in San Diego right now. In the airport on my way here, I put my beloved coat on a chair and five minutes later when I turned around it was gone, for good. So I was freezing for the past two days, except I had a beautiful wrap scarf with me that made it a bit warmer. And then this morning I was sitting in a theater. I put my scarf on a…
[vsw id=”IF5faT3iNtw” source=”youtube” width=”425″ height=”344″ autoplay=”no”] I performed in my first improv show last Saturday, which was so much fun that my earlobes hurt. Yes, it’s improvised meaning everything is made up on the spot. I never stop being amazed by the amount of elegance and synchronicity in improv, given that much of the time you have no idea what the hell you’re going to say until you open your mouth. So many things can…
Writing is hard. Writing a book is insane. I sit down to write, my palms sweating and Saturn’s fat ass sitting right on my heart. I can’t breathe. Oh, this is too hard. I manipulate each sentence. I spent half an hour picking a right word in paragraph three, as if hoping it would save the entire page, which still looks an unsalvagable shame after a two hour battle with the word…