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Here’s the hilarious story of how I got my first job working for a US senator, 5 months after arriving in America, with no skill, no connection, and terrible English 🤪

It was my first semester in grad school. I had landed in Washington DC for the first time a few months earlier with two suitcases.

I was 23, had no friends, and knew nothing about America. School was boring. I hated Taco Bell burritos for lunch every day but they were cheap.

How can I meet more people, learn about the country, have more fun, and improve English? I asked myself.

One day on campus I overheard two undergrads chatting about their internship on “the Hill”.

Which “hill” are they talking about? I wondered. It sounds not boring.

I googled and realized they meant the Capitol Hill, where the congress people lived.

That’s it, I thought. I’ll get an internship on “the Hill”, too. Hope they like foreigners.

I found there were 535 senators and congressmen. I figured I’d visit them all. So I printed out 500 resumes (not that there was much on it), and packed a sandwich for my day trip to the Hill.

At the time I just read a book by a guy named Barack Obama. He was the only senator I knew about. So I visited him first.

The receptionist: “May I help you?”

“Yes. Can I see Barack Obama?”

The receptionist looked startled. “I’m sorry. The senator is in a meeting. May I know your affiliation?”

I didn’t know what “affiliation” was, so I figured it probably didn’t matter. “Hmm, alright. Can I see the person in charge of here then?”

“You mean the chief of staff?”

“Yes!” Ah, a “chief of staff”, that’s what these people are called.

Sadly, I was informed that the chief of staff was “in a meeting”, too.

I told the receptionist I’d be back tomorrow, and went on to another senator’s office next door, this time asking to see the chief of staff.

I visited about 50 offices that day, and met 15 chiefs of staff and office managers.

Since these offices are essentially PR outfits, they are very nice to visitors. I was nicely told that either they were not looking for interns or they only took on interns from their home state.

The next day, I visited another 50, and got the same. I gave up and moved on with life.

A week later, I got a phone call.

“… This is [so and so] from Senator Coleman’s office… We would love to have you as an intern.”

Yiiiisss! 💪

I googled and found Norm Coleman was a Republican senator from Minnesota. Not that it meant anything. I couldn’t tell a Republican from a Democrat more than I could tell a whippet from an Italian greyhound.

Part of the intern’s job was to guide tours around the Capitol for constituent visitors.

The Capitol ground was a giant maze that I couldn’t even guide myself through, let alone guiding others. While guiding, I was also supposed to explain how Congress works and answer questions about the senator’s position on abortion.

I was a 23 year old Chinese kid who just landed in America. I didn’t understand half the questions, let alone answering them. It was nerve-wrecking.

The first week I lost 20 innocent Minnesotans on the Capitol underground train. I still don’t know what happened to them.

But I met interesting people, learned a ton, had fun, and practiced English.

And that’s how I became the worst tour guide in the US Capitol.